COUPLES COUNSELING
For Calabasas, Agoura Hills, Woodland HIlls, CA. and surrounding cities in California
You feel alone, rejected, and hopeless. The more you try to connect with your partner to fix things, the more you end up arguing or find your partner shutting down and not wanting to talk at all. Both are the last thing you ultimately want. You wonder if this is all your life will ever be. You long for the days when you couldn’t get enough of each other. You wonder if that was just the honeymoon phase and this is as good as it gets. That thought is depressing and makes you question why you’re even doing this.
I know what it’s like to feel completely stuck, where both staying and leaving feel equally awful. Nobody wants to blow up their family. In a desire to keep your family together though, it’s easy to put aside your own needs until they are exploding out of you and you can’t take it anymore. If you are going to stay, don’t stay stuck and miserable. When I look back at that darkest, “I can’t take it anymore” moment, I am grateful for it because that ultimately led to change, as it often does.
When you’re with somebody day in and out, you feel like you really know them, but couples often don’t know each other as well as they think. We have an idea in our heads about who each other are, but those ideas often don’t get updated with new information. In therapy, you will become experts on each other. You will learn each others ‘owners manual” and become experts at taking care of each other.
Knowing that your partner truly gets you and has your back is one of the best feelings in the world. You’ll then be in much better shape to really hear each other’s wants, needs, hopes and desires. You will notice that when you are really taking care of each other, the passion and connection starts to come back. When you walk in the door, you are actually excited to see one another.You even notice that your body feels more relaxed, your neck isn’t always tense, you feel lighter and your mind isn’t racing as much. When you and your partner are connected, it feels as if all is right in the world. You only have one life, it’s worth the work.
I am a PACT trained therapist, and use this highly effective and researched model to treat couples.
What is PACT?
The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT) relies on the application of research in neuroscience and attachment theory to improve interactions between couples. This approach, which was developed by Stan Tatkin, aims to help couples notice their reactions as they occur in real time and learn how to better address one another's attachment needs. It quickly gets to the heart of what’s happening with conflict and tension in your relationship.PACT has a reputation for effectively treating even the most challenging couples.
How is PACT different from other models of couple therapy?
The PACT model stands out from most other forms of couple therapy with these key features:
Using the PACT approach, both the therapist and the couple focus on moment-to-moment shifts in the face, body, and voice. Therapists help partners learn to be more attuned and respond to these subtle shifts in each other.
During a PACT session, the therapist creates experiences similar to those troubling a couple’s relationship, and they help partners work through issues in real time.
PACT tends to require fewer sessions than do other forms of couple therapy.
PACT sessions often exceed 50 minutes. Longer sessions allow for PACT therapists to work more deeply with couples.