What Does Healing from Trauma Really Look Like?

What Does Healing from Trauma Really Look Like?

Healing from trauma is often misunderstood. Many people think that healing happens suddenly, with some dramatic moment of clarity or resolution. The journey of trauma recovery is messy and complicated.  It’s less about a "finish line" and more about a process of continual integration, growth, and self-compassion. It can feel like nothing is changing until you look back six months and realize how much you’ve changed from when you started.

So, what does healing from trauma really look like? 

1. A Nonlinear Path

One of the most important things to understand about healing from trauma, or really any emotional issue,  is that it is rarely a straight line.  You might feel like you're making progress only to suddenly be hit with a memory or emotion that feels overwhelming. There will be moments of relief and moments of struggle, and that’s normal.

The process often involves revisiting and processing the same events in new ways, utilizing EMDR, until that memory no longer brings distress. It often involves learning to challenge the negative beliefs you have about yourself associated with the trauma.

2. Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism

Trauma recovery can bring up feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. Many survivors struggle with internalized messages of “I should have done more” or “ I’m unlovable”. Healing starts with realizing that you did the best you could at the time. It’s learning how to have compassion for both your adult self and also your  inner child who was just trying to survive, doing the best they could with what they knew. 

The more you practice self-compassion, the more you begin to reframe your thoughts and change the narrative about your trauma. It becomes less about blaming yourself and more about honoring the courage it takes to survive and rebuild.

3. Embracing Your Emotions

For many trauma survivors, it can either feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster of emotions or  feel numb and have a hard time feeling anything. Healing from trauma often requires re-engaging with feelings that may have been suppressed or learning how to regulate overwhelming emotions in a new way. The good news is that EMDR helps speed that process up. It often helps ease the emotional intensity associated with the traumatic event fairly quickly. The rest of the work is learning how to deal with the emotions that come up in day to day life without feeling overwhelmed or shutting down. 

4. Creating New Narratives

This is one of the most critical tasks in healing from trauma. The trauma you experienced has likely shaped the way you view yourself and the world.  It may have led you to believe that you can’t trust anybody, and as a result you may experience a deep sense of loneliness and disconnection. It may have led you to believe you are broken, not good enough, unworthy, or unsafe, leading to a deep sense of shame. The first step is acknowledging you are living in a narrative based on your trauma and realizing you don’t have to continue living like that. Part of the healing journey involves creating new stories based on who you are now,  and exploring who you really are outside of these oppressive and isolating beliefs. 

5. Learning to Trust Again

Trust can be one of the most difficult things to rebuild after trauma. Whether it’s trust in others, trust in your own judgment, or trust in the world around you. Part of healing involves slowly and cautiously learning to trust again. Learning to be vulnerable with others is not easy, and I encourage my clients to think of dipping their toe in the pool to feel the temperature before getting fully in. It’s ok to take your time making sure those closest to you are emotionally safe to be fully yourself with before being completely vulnerable. 

Over time, you’ll learn to  re-engage in relationships, set healthy boundaries and learn to trust others.

6. Building a Sense of Safety

For many, trauma shatters the sense of safety they once had. Healing often begins with creating a new sense of safety—physically, emotionally, and psychologically. This can be as simple as making your living space feel secure, engaging in self-care practices, or learning how to protect your emotional boundaries.

In therapy, you’ll learn how to soothe your nervous system so that your body gets the message you are safe now. This will  include learning grounding techniques and mindfulness practices. Over time, the goal is to build a foundation of inner strength and external support that allows you to feel secure, even in the face of challenging emotions or memories.

7. Acceptance

Ultimately, healing from trauma involves acceptance—not of the trauma itself, but of the fact that it happened and that it is part of your life story. The exact trauma won’t sting or make your stomach drop like it used to and that’s a huge relief. You’ll learn to accept yourself for who you really are, knowing that you are good enough and lovable, scars and all.

If you or someone you know is struggling with trauma, reaching out for support from a trauma  therapist can be the first step in reclaiming your life. I would be happy to help as well and join you on your healing journey. Feel free to reach out for a free 15 min consultation.